http://www.luls4.me/cruelty_52.htm

comedycentral:

No matter where you are Tuesday night, chances are you’ll be able to watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report’s live election night shows.

The Daily Show’s “Election Night 2012: This Ends Now” and The Colbert Report Presents “Election 2012: A Nation Votes, Ohio Decides; The Re-Presidenting of America: Who Will Replace Obama? ‘012!” will both air live on Comedy Central from 11:00-11:30 p.m. ET (8:00-8:30 p.m. PT) and 11:30-midnight ET (8:30-9:00 p.m. PT) respectively, and will be simulcast on MTV’s Times Square JumboTron.

And for the first time ever, both shows will stream live on comedycentral.com, iOS and Android enabled devices, Xbox consoles and through The Daily Show Headlines App. 

Getting the latest, up-to-the-minute election night hilarity while you poop* has never been easier!

*Please don’t poop in Times Square.

1,556 notes 

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill

People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
Catherine Zandonella

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

6,934 notes 

2,756 notes 

I’m bored.